Before you read this post, just know that I have a broken foot and haven’t been able to do much lately, so watching sports is ALL I HAVE!

The Cleveland Browns. They suck. Bad. Really bad. They find ways to lose when they should win. Kickers look like they’re point shaving. Long snappers, REALLY?!?! A long snapper loses a game… Only for the Browns. We have no skill players that are better than me, and I suck at football. Our QB is probably the 38-40th best QB in the league and he starts (There are 32 NFL teams).  And before all you stans come out and try to bash me, and say we’re rebuilding, EFF ALL THAT!!You don’t rebuild for 13 years!

I am 26 years old, born and raised in Cleveland, and have never seen a good Browns team in my life time that I can remember. I’ve seen good Indians teams, good Cavs teams, good Rockers teams (WNBA), Cleveland State was good last year, but not ONE good Browns team. Decent doesn’t equal good. The Cavs and Indians haven’t won championships, but they have TRIED!!! I don’t even think the Browns try. LOOK at our STARTING Quarterbacks since the expansion draft:

Tim Couch (Number 1 pick, terrible QB, from Kentucky….REALLY?!?! a QB from UK), Tye Detmer, life long back up Doug Pederson, Kelly Holcomb (No comment because I actually liked him. I was brainwashed), Spergon Wynn (picked over Tom Brady, like the Cavs picked Vitaly Potapenko over KOBE!), Jeff Garcia (over the hill by then),  Luke McCown (idk who that even is), Trent Dilfer (Hated Cleveland, we hated him too), Charlie Frye (from the Wack MAC), Derek Anderson (Worst Probowl QB EVER, actually played well that yr though, should have played college bball), Brady Quinn (Notre Dames finest failure), Ken Dorsey, Bruce Gradkiwski (kill me now), Jake Delhomme (old), Seneca Wallace (a poor mans Tebow), and Colt McCoy (Noodle arms).

That’s 16 QB’s in 13 years. Lets not even talk about the SCRUBS these bad QB’s had to throw to. The best we had was Braylon and Kellen. So we got rid of them. Our only pro-bowl receiver since 1989. He had drop issues, but he made big plays. Now Kellen was an idiot, but if you aren’t gonna take his contract away after the motorcycle accident, you should ride it out with him. Let’s not mention the staph infection that almost killed the whole team!!! Seriously, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?

We never draft skill players. I don’t care about Joe Thomas, he’s not going to win games. I know you stans are gonna hang me for saying that, but I don’t care. We’ve only had 1 Rookie of the year on O or D in franchise HISTORY! Not good for a team that CONSTANTLY has top picks. We could have Andy Dalton, AJ Green, so many others. What happened to Shaun Rogers?!? He even stops drunk drivers!

After all this crap I just wrote, I’m still a Browns fan. I HATE them tho. I love them tho. I just want them to do well. I know they will get it together one day. They will NEVER be good! This is the internal struggle that this team causes me daily. We’re so bad, we have one sided rivalries, because the other teams care nothing about us.

No, I don’t really know a ton about football, and I never played so my opinion holds no water. But I don’t CARE!!! I do know that the point of sports teams is to win games, and we aren’t accomplishing that.

I was born a Browns fan. My mom was at the stadium pregnant with me watching games. I didn’t chose this life, but I am about that life. Browns, please help my life by winning sometime soon.




Oh, and EFF Peyton Hillis too.


~ by swimwearian on December 1, 2011.

5 Responses to “I HATE THE BROWNS!!!”

  1. Being a Browns fan is very tough. But they represent more than what you see on the field. The organization has a huge impact on the city financially. It’s jobs and tourist revenue. When the Browns moved to Baltimore in 94 it hurt our city big time. I didn’t realize it was deeper than just football. People lost their jobs. When they came back in 99 it breathed new life into the city. So when I say GO BROWNS it’s for my entire city. Support your local sports teams.

    • I feel you, and I think the organization knows that and takes advantage of loyal fans. They know that regardless of how we perform, the loyal fans will back the Browns. In a small market we are almost a Billion Dollar franchise. They can definitely make some moves that translate into wins. I think that will boost support because the fair weather fans will then show up and add more value to the team.

  2. How many moves? You talked about Trent Dilfer hating Cleveland. Take it from someone else who hates Cleveland (lol) – the problem is that like most – but not all – small markets, the Browns or (insert any other Cleveland team) have a general (but not absolute) inability to attarct big-name free agents. And any great talent that Cleveland does aquire through drafts or development eventually leaves through free agency. I’m not saying no one will come, but when it comes to the big names – the ones that help win rings, Cleveland isn’t even on their radar. It’s not the whole story, but the inability to attract big-time free agents, along with management’s incompetence in terms of player development, does help lead to what you have today here in Cleveland.

  3. J,
    Good post. Lived in Cleveland for 5 years. Just cause cle squads are so bad I feel bad for them and root for them in dc

  4. I am a NYG fan and have been since I was a little kid growing up in CT and my dad’s friend had yearly season tickets to the giants games (just saw them play the 49ers at candlestick a few weeks ago out here on the w. Coast and lose unfortunately). The giants have had their up and down seasons since when I used to watch them as a kid in the 80s when they had the greatest linebacking core in the history of football with Lawrence Taylor, pepper Johnson, and Carl banks (my opinion o course) to the present time with one of the great d-lines of all time (michael strahan, osi umenyiora, Justin tuck, mathias kiwanuka) but they have always been solid without having a number of losing seasons in a row or missing the playoffs that often. I think a lot of this has to do with having an identity and the g-men’s identity has always been a solid intimidating d and power running game…usually when they stray from this identity is when they don’t do as well. The browns as far as I can tell have no identity and a lot of this has to do with inconsistency in their perssonell. It seems like every year they have new coaches and new players and as bad as the qb’s have been I think they are getting set up for failure by having to learn new offense and new receivers every year. I think they need to develop an identity and then get the right personnel in to establish that identity and stick with them somehow by offering some contractual incentives or figuring out ways to resign people so that they don have such perssonell changes all te time

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